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March 2007
Counselor’s Corner
Are you tired of nagging, yelling,
and being frustrated by some behavior that
your child has made into a habit? Here is a
technique you might try that keeps the angry
monster away. For example, let’s say you
have a child who is in the habit of yelling
at siblings, and another child who won’t do
what he/she is told the first time you ask.
Each child gets a jar with marbles or rocks.
(Letting the kids pick them out gives them
ownership.) Before presenting this to the
kids, talk it over with your spouse to make
sure you are in agreement. This is most
effective if you are working on ONLY one or
two behaviors at a time. It is not to be
used for other discipline issues. Put ten
marbles in the jar. Explain to the children
that each time they display the behavior,
they will lose a marble. At the end of the
week, if there are any marbles left, they
get to choose a family activity. Brainstorm
a list of activities that are free or very
little cost. (a picnic, a family walk, going
to the library)
Children feel more secure, and negative
behaviors tend to happen less frequently if
they get plenty of family time. If they run
out of marbles, just say, “I am so sorry you
don’t get to pick an activity for us. I
really look forward to our time together.”
Also keep in mind that this is family time,
which means they still get to do the
activity the other children pick. Once the
behavior has stopped, have a family meeting
to address a different behavior that has
surfaced for the new week, and to think of
activities for the following weekend.
This is a very positive approach that
gives the child a goal and can break that
annoying behavior that makes us sound like
our parents when we yell, “You kids are
driving me CRAZY!”
Have a wonderful, restful spring break and
enjoy your kids! They are a blessing!
Melanie Heil
Counselor
Counselor's Corner
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