|
|
November 2006
Counselor’s Corner
Has homework become a hassle in your home?
Are you frustrated by the constant feeling
of being responsible for your children’s
homework? Teachers assign homework for two
reasons: 1) to practice skills taught that
day, and 2) to develop responsibility. (Of
the child, not the parents!). I frequently
hear from teachers that children have not
learned responsibility because their parents
have done everything for them. I believe
most parents have their good days and bad
days of parenting, just as kids have their
good days and bad days of being responsible.
When I find myself being bogged down by my
kid’s responsibilities, I have to stop and
ask myself, “Whose responsibility is this?”
I believe some parents are more concerned
about their children being a reflection of
them, than they are about allowing natural
consequences, so that their children might
actually learn responsibility. So where do
you draw the line of enabling your children
to be irresponsible and supporting their
education? Here are some questions to ask
yourself:
Are YOU stressed by your CHILD’S
homework?
If so, you are sending the message it is
your responsibility.
Do you have to tell your child to do
their homework?
If yes, it is time to develop consistent
structure and routine for homework time.
Same time, same place, every day. The goal
is that you no longer have to remind them.
Imagine! One less thing to do each day!
Is your child in the habit of putting
their homework directly in their backpack?
If yes, Hooray! Tell them you are proud of
them for being so responsible.
Here are some tips to end your the
homework hassles.
- Rather than looking in the backpack,
taking out the folder, and handing it to
your child, ask them, “What are you
planning to do to have fun and relax
tonight after you are finished with your
homework?” Intrinsic motivation has a
longer-lasting effect than simple
obedience.
- Rather than telling your child,”Put
your folder in your backpack, etc.” Ask
them, “Do you have everything you need
for school today?”
- Ask them how much time they think
their homework should take. Set the
timer and walk out of the room. They
need to know homework should not take
all night, and they will still have time
to play afterwards.
- If your child needs to experience a
consequence, but you do not want to
appear uninvolved, write your teacher a
note saying that you are encouraging
your child to take over responsibility,
and you would like for them to accept
the consequences of not turning in their
homework. These consequences could be
given at home or school. And remember, a
lecture is not a consequence. Then when
your child is successful, celebrate with
positive words and a victory dance!
- Remember, homework should be 10-15
minutes per grade level. For example, a
second grader should have between 20-30
minutes per night. If it takes your
child much longer, communicate this with
the teacher or myself. Tears and
frustration NOT helpful in teaching
children a love of learning!
- Have a “To Do After School” chart
for each child. Include homework and
other chores, and a list of suggested
activities to do afterwards to relax and
have fun. Having chores builds
self-esteem, responsibility, and frees
up some of your time to do more
enjoyable activities with your child or
just relax!
Still not convinced? Think of the old
lady whose husband drives her to her
daughter’s house every Sunday. The husband
passes away, and the old lady has no idea
how to get to her daughter’s house. As long
as someone else does the driving, we don’t
need to learn the way. It is our job as
parents to provide the map, but let them
find their own way down the Road to
Responsibility!
Melanie Heil
Counselor Counselor's Corner
Archive
Sep 06
Apr 06
Mar 06
Feb 06
Jan 06
Nov 05
Oct 05
Apr 05
Mar 05
Feb 05
Jan 05
Dec 04
Nov 04
Sep 04 |
